1. Analyze the first paragraph. Does the draft have a strong hook? Does it immediately give the reader information s/he didn’t know already? Do the sentences rely on simple, active verbs? Is the thesis statement clear and powerful? Suggest ways the writer can improve the introduction.
2. What contextual or background information is given in addition to the summary of the article? Has the author done any additional research? Does the draft explain not only what the research is, but also why it matters?
3. If the author were to add another paragraph of additional background information where should that paragraph go? What information should it contain?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Paramedic Method Activity
1. Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into)
2. Draw a box around the "is" verb forms
3. Ask, "Where's the action?"
4. Change the "action" into a simple verb
5. Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking whom?)
6. Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups
7. Eliminate any redundancies.
Sample paragraph:
When a person hears of a major occurrence they are automatically going to form some sort of opinion about its morality or correctness. This was the case when six health professionals were sentenced to death in Libya charged on the basis that they deliberately infected 400 children with HIV. The charge was controversial on the grounds that many of the children were infected some time before the medics were even working at the hospital. While this is where many chose to disagree, the main controversy lies in deciding who the actual victims in the case were. The author of an editorial published in Nature, felt that the main victims in this case were the Libyan public who has to deal with a poor healthcare system, whereas the author of an editorial published in the New York Times felt that the doctors and nurses sentenced to death were the only victims, and were being overlooked.
Libya recently sentenced six health professionals to death for allegedly infecting 400 children with HIV. However, these children contracted the virus before the medics worked at the hospital. Authors disagree about who suffers most. George Stencil focuses on the Libyans who deal with a poor health care system. However, Bob Saget turns our attention back to the doctors who have been sentenced to death.
2. Draw a box around the "is" verb forms
3. Ask, "Where's the action?"
4. Change the "action" into a simple verb
5. Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking whom?)
6. Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups
7. Eliminate any redundancies.
Sample paragraph:
When a person hears of a major occurrence they are automatically going to form some sort of opinion about its morality or correctness. This was the case when six health professionals were sentenced to death in Libya charged on the basis that they deliberately infected 400 children with HIV. The charge was controversial on the grounds that many of the children were infected some time before the medics were even working at the hospital. While this is where many chose to disagree, the main controversy lies in deciding who the actual victims in the case were. The author of an editorial published in Nature, felt that the main victims in this case were the Libyan public who has to deal with a poor healthcare system, whereas the author of an editorial published in the New York Times felt that the doctors and nurses sentenced to death were the only victims, and were being overlooked.
Libya recently sentenced six health professionals to death for allegedly infecting 400 children with HIV. However, these children contracted the virus before the medics worked at the hospital. Authors disagree about who suffers most. George Stencil focuses on the Libyans who deal with a poor health care system. However, Bob Saget turns our attention back to the doctors who have been sentenced to death.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
February 23: Draft Workshop 2: Organization
1. Based on the CURRENT DRAFT, paraphrase the author’s thesis statement and the topic sentences of each of his/her paragraphs, composing a rough outline of the draft like the ones we composed in class last week.
2. Do the paragraphs follow through on what the author says s/he will do in the first paragraph? Is there anything s/he said would be written about that isn’t? Are there any sections of the paper that aren’t mentioned (or at least accounted for) in the introduction?
3. Examine the paragraph topic sentences for coherence. For each topic sentence, ask yourself, “how is this idea relate to the main thesis?” and, “how does this idea relate to the ideas presented just before and after?” Note anything that seems amiss and give suggestions for improvement.
4. Examine the paragraph topic sentences for unnecessary repetition. Do the same key words or phrases appear in multiple topic sentences? If so, where could combining paragraphs or sentences help make the essay’s structure clearer? (Remember: one paragraph, one idea.)
2. Do the paragraphs follow through on what the author says s/he will do in the first paragraph? Is there anything s/he said would be written about that isn’t? Are there any sections of the paper that aren’t mentioned (or at least accounted for) in the introduction?
3. Examine the paragraph topic sentences for coherence. For each topic sentence, ask yourself, “how is this idea relate to the main thesis?” and, “how does this idea relate to the ideas presented just before and after?” Note anything that seems amiss and give suggestions for improvement.
4. Examine the paragraph topic sentences for unnecessary repetition. Do the same key words or phrases appear in multiple topic sentences? If so, where could combining paragraphs or sentences help make the essay’s structure clearer? (Remember: one paragraph, one idea.)
February 23: Intro Workshop
1. Did the writer’s interesting fact interest you? Why? Did you know it already? Will your blog’s audience know it? Will they find it interesting?
2. Compare the author’s original introduction with the revised introduction (you may need to play back the wave to see the original). Which one grabs your attention more quickly and effectively?
3. Point out any “to be” verbs or prepositional phrases that you notice. Try to re-write those sentences without them.
2. Compare the author’s original introduction with the revised introduction (you may need to play back the wave to see the original). Which one grabs your attention more quickly and effectively?
3. Point out any “to be” verbs or prepositional phrases that you notice. Try to re-write those sentences without them.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Draft Workshop 1 for February 16
In your wave, rewrite your introduction using the following instructions:
1. Begin with an interesting fact about your topic that your audience won’t already know. State this fact in a simple sentence (it should probably follow this pattern: subject / verb / indirect object / direct object) built around a simple (i.e. one word), active verb (i.e. no forms of “to be”).
2. Segue, as concisely as possible, into a simple and direct statement of your essay’s argument.
3. Give a brief indication of your paper’s trajectory or logical structure.
4. Throughout the paragraph avoid using “to be” verbs, prepositional phrases, and unnecessary adjectives and adverbs.
1. Begin with an interesting fact about your topic that your audience won’t already know. State this fact in a simple sentence (it should probably follow this pattern: subject / verb / indirect object / direct object) built around a simple (i.e. one word), active verb (i.e. no forms of “to be”).
2. Segue, as concisely as possible, into a simple and direct statement of your essay’s argument.
3. Give a brief indication of your paper’s trajectory or logical structure.
4. Throughout the paragraph avoid using “to be” verbs, prepositional phrases, and unnecessary adjectives and adverbs.
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